The Worst of the Best

May 17, 2011

I am a huge, huge fan of horror movies and as a kid (and even now) I devoured horror films. And like many, I loved the Freddy and Jason movies.  But they got me to thinking. Every series has an entry that is the absolute worst. Which are they? Well, here they are.

– A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge-  I think that in this movie not only did Freddy want to kill all the teenagers, he wanted to romance the male ones. This movie was suspiciously homoerotic.

– Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday- The worst because you only see Jason at the beginning and the end of the film. Stupid!

– The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation- It wouldn’t even have been released had Matthew McConnaughy and Renee Zelweger not been in it.  The Sawyer family has a member with a cybernetic leg and they are affiliated with a perverted pierced Illuminati member. Huh?

-Halloween: Resurrection- The one with Busta Rhymes.  And it accomplished the impossible. It made me not care when Michael Myers was on screen.

– Child’s Play 3- Chucky at a military academy.  With one of the kids from Adventures in Babysitting.

 

Peanuts

May 16, 2011

I feel really bad for people who have a peanut allergy.  Peanuts are delicious and to not be able to enjoy them must suck. It’s particularly bad for people who can have a reaction to even the smallest exposure.

But really, where the hell did peanut allergies come from?  It seems like until a couple of years ago you never heard of anyone with a peanut allergy.  I mean allergies don’t become epidemic do they?  I mean, were there hordes of peanut allergic folks doing the nasty and they just had a bunch of kids?  I have no idea.

Just something I was thinking about.

Seriously

May 13, 2011

I am no mood to write at the moment.  Just cannot think of a single thing to write about.   So here is another top 5 list.  Top 5 favorite X-Men (in honor of the forthcoming X-Men First Class)

5. Wolverine – Bad-ass.

4. Dazzler- Under-rated disco-era light slinger.

3. The Beast- A crazy blue guy with a scientist brain.

2. Psylocke- An Englishwoman and former Captain Britain who switched bodies with a Japanese ninja.

1. Nightcrawler- The German blue devil. The best X-Man of all time.

Secondary

May 12, 2011

Today, while working on the comic, I got to thinking about stuff related to the Sonic series and I was giggling because I always like the fact that Tails’ real name was Miles Prower (Miles Per Hour… get it?).  And in that vein, here are my five favorite video game sidekicks.

5. Tails- Proof that not only hedgehogs can run at supersonic speeds.

4. The Commandos (Baby Commando, Ninja Commando, Mummy Commando)- Sure, they were all playable but everyone knows that Captain Commando was the leader.

3. Luigi- Probably the best known sidekick. He epitomizes sidekick-ness (such as having his own offscreen adventures during the events of Super Paper Mario)

2. Barrett (Final Fantasy VII)- I don’t know if he was technically a sidekick but he sure seemed like one. And his gun-arm was sweet.

1. Ashley (Resident Evil 4)- All sidekicks should run around in plaid skirts and be expert lamp-throwers.

Masters of Universes

May 11, 2011

I like He-Man as much as any kid (even though I wasn’t allowed to watch it for some reason).  I used to watch it over at my friend Rex’s house.  Along with Raiders of the Lost Ark.  But what strikes me about He-Man is how flat-out weird some of the characters were. Such as:

– Meka-Nek- Just a dude with a cybernetic extending neck.

– Skunkor- A bad guy who was a skunk. And who ensured that the good guys always smelled the bad guys coming.

– Moss Man- A green plant moss-covered guy.  The action figured had fur and pine scent.  But you have to wonder.  Was he just Rock Man before the moss grew on him?

– Fisto- A guy with a big metal hand. Not so weird until you think about how dirty his name sounds.